


What Is This Thing That Builds Our Dreams (yet slips away from us?)

by ShipperTrash140109



Category: Actor RPF, Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, M/M, Men Crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 23:35:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperTrash140109/pseuds/ShipperTrash140109
Summary: Gwil is out collecting groceries when his phone starts to go off, text after text after text pouring in, and he can only just see that they’re all from Ben before it starts ringing. A feeling of dread washes over Gwil, something must have happened, the blond was at work right now, or he was supposed to be anyway. When he accepts the call, his ear is filled with a flurry of choked sobs and incoherent shouting, this is very bad.akasome real angst





	What Is This Thing That Builds Our Dreams (yet slips away from us?)

**Author's Note:**

> disc: If you are or know anyone mentioned in this fic I urge you to turn away now!
> 
> this is dedicated to a nonnie on tumblr who wanted some angst, along with all of you who've asked for angst in the past, i hope you enjoy sad sunday!!
> 
> IM TAKING REQUESTS so feel free to drop one in the comments or on my tumblr!  
> FEEDBACK AND COMMENTS (even the screaming ones) ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED💓💓

Gwil is out collecting groceries when his phone starts to go off, text after text after text pouring in, and he can only just see that they’re all from Ben before it starts ringing. A feeling of dread washes over Gwil, something must have happened, the blond was at work right now, or he was supposed to be anyway. When he accepts the call, his ear is filled with a flurry of choked sobs and incoherent shouting, this is very bad.

“Ben, Ben, darling slow down, are you okay?” Gwil asks over the chaos on the other end of the line, the noise dying down a moment, the younger man most likely trying (and probably failing) to stop his tears.

“No, no everything is not all fucking right!” he snaps, his voice shaky from crying but lingering on almost venomous, “they fucking- they fired me! They told me not to come back, they don’t want me! They can’t ‘deal’ with me, I don’t ‘fit’!” he explained, Gwil wincing at the volume, he felt out of breath, his heart thumping against his chest, seriously concerned for his boyfriend. There’s a bad taste in his mouth as he asks what happened, and then he feels sick to the stomach when he hears the others answer “people…people saw us, and they-they found out! They’re fucking homophobic twats! I didn’t think people did this shit anymore and I ignored my manager- fuck he’s going to be so pissed off, my career is ruined, Gwil, I’m fucking done for, oh my god I’m going to lose everything” he started off strong, his voice firm and loud, powered by hate and anger and despair, until he broke down into ragged sobs, barely getting the last few words out.

Gwil can feel his head spinning, and for a moment he feels like he’s going to throw up, it was his fault, he shouldn’t have let Ben risk it like that, should’ve pushed him away, should’ve seen this coming. He can’t breathe. “Ben oh my god- I’m so sorry, this is my fault I-”

“No. No stop, we shouldn’t have to hide any of this- especially not from arseholes like him- I’m just, so fucking angry, I just stood there and let him spout all this bullshit and- and I did nothing, I felt so helpless!” he sobbed, and Gwil was quickly pushing the trolley to checkout, feeling like he was about to either throw his guts up or start guilty crying. “I wanna go home but I can’t drive, I’m such a mess, Gwil, I feel fucking horrible” Ben whined, his sniffles filling the phone, still trying and failing to stop the tears.

“Alright, I’m just leaving the shops right now, just stay on the line with me, try and calm yourself a bit, you could get yourself an uber? I could collect your car tomorrow if you want? Ben, I feel so terrible, he’ll be lucky if I don’t march up to that set and show him what the open-minded and open-hearted are capable of.” Gwil wasn’t sure where his sudden confidence came from, how he was suddenly completely on top of the situation and capable of instructing a very emotional Ben around, but he was glad for it, because for a moment it made him feel like he wasn’t a good portion of this whole problem.

He paid for his things and dragged the bags out to the car, his phone wedged between his shoulder and his cheek, Ben not talking, just gasping and whining as he tries to settle himself, mumbling things about how his manager is going to skin him, how he should’ve known better (even though him wanting to show love to his boyfriend in a public place was nothing to hide, no matter what some idiotic, narrow-minded director says). “I just wanna go home, I don’t want to leave the house ever again, fuck everyone” Ben grumbles, and Gwil bites his lip, loading everything into the car, “I’m going to wake up tomorrow and my whole career will be over.”

“Hey, stop that, your career isn’t going to be over! If one jackarse wants to hold your personal affairs against you then he’s at wrong, and he’s just lost an amazing actor. You’re going to wake up, and everything is going to be fine, and I’ll make you breakfast in bed and we can do nothing but lay around all day, and then you’ll get back on your feet and go blow another film outta the water” Gwil stated, his voice firm as he connected his phone to the Bluetooth, sliding into the drivers seat, the sound filled with Ben’s sad hums of amusement, whether it was forced or not was unclear.

“You’re way too optimistic and I hate you for it… my uber driver is going to hate me, maybe I could introduce him to the director” Ben grumbles, sniffing and choking on a laugh, Gwil felt his veins run hot, he wanted to both punch someone and hug the life out of Ben. He strained to stay focused on the road, to not let his foot dip and hit the accelerator in his desperation to get home, but thankfully for everyone on the road, it seemed that Ben was doing his best to stay quiet- most likely now in the uber and afraid of inconveniencing anyone else.

“It’s alright, love, I’m nearly home, how are you feeling?” Gwil asked, even though he was pretty sure the answer would be something along the lines of ‘not very bloody good’- but, being ever optimistic, Gwil had hoped that venting might somewhat have alleviated some of Ben’s anger. He felt unspoken words hang heavy on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill free, but he stopped, he could save it for when he at last saw the other, when he could wrap his arms around shaking shoulders and press the words into tear-slick skin. He swallowed thickly, he already knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it together once he saw Ben so devastated, so utterly humiliated and vulnerable, hating himself for his actions, hating himself for being so obvious, hating himself for things that were not his fault.

Pulling into a driveway, Gwil almost forgets to grab the groceries before he’s marching to the door, and when he finds it unlocked, he drops the bags in the doorway, swinging it shut behind him as he races into the house, eyes stuck on where he can see a blond head peeking up over the back of the couch. When Ben notices him, he stands, he looks a mess, eyes puffy and red and still leaking with thick hot tears, his lips bitten and red from being stuck between teeth and pinched by anxious fingers. His hair sticks up all over the place, raked by shaking fingers and mussed by the hood of his jumper that he’d likely used as his only source of defence from judging eyes and disgusted shaking heads.

They rush forward and smother themselves in each other, and for a moment Gwil doesn’t even breath, he just clutches Ben to him, hand against the back of his head, nose pressed against firm shoulder, when he breathes in, he breathes Ben, and just the thought of anyone wronging him in such a way makes the brunet sick to his stomach. “I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry- I can’t believe this has happened, it’s so bloody wrong…they can’t-they can’t do that!” Gwil gasped into his shoulder, he was speechless now that he’s seen how tattered and torn up Ben is, seeing the man in such a state has Gwil’s brain short-circuiting.

“Stop apologizing, this isn’t your fault…’ Bens voice was soft, and for a moment Gwil thought he’d tired himself out, but then the blond drew a long, shaky breath, and then his tone turned downright venomous “you’re not the numbskull who decided to kiss their behind-closed-doors boyfriend in the middle of a busy street and then parade it around like a fucking idiot expecting that nobody would have a bloody problem with it, fuck!” Ben’s tears were back in full swing by this point, and all Gwil could do was hold him as he writhed and cried in loud, hacking sobs into his chest, hand balled into a fist and beating defeatedly against the taller mans shoulder. It hurt, but not as much as it hurt to watch Ben torturing himself so much over the prejudices and wrongs of another.

“Ben, Ben sweetheart, please stop, you’re not the problem, you need to realise that you’re not wrong for wanting to love your partner, wanting to show everyone else how in love you are. You’re not the problem for wanting to be normal!” Gwil urged, hands slipping to the sides of Ben’s face, turning it upwards, watery blue meeting tear-reddened green, and the brunet sighed, swallowing his tears as he pressed their foreheads together. “The problem is that twat who can’t see past someone’s personal lifestyle, can’t see that they’re an amazing, talented, and dedicated actor who works his pretty arse off every day. He’s missing out, and I know for a fact that this isn’t the end of your career…it’s the end of his, when I storm up to that set and show him how the Welsh deal with people like him, and then get your manager to stomp his name into the dirt for throwing away Ben _bloody_ Hardy, you hear me?” Gwil is sure, so sure of what he’s saying, even if it might just sound like passionate gibberish, but Ben is biting his lip and looking up at him with teary eyes like Gwilym himself hangs the sun and stars.

“I hear you” he whispers, and the brunet smiles a melancholic smile before pressing their lips so softly together, the kiss salty with tears but so relieving after everything. Gwil can hardly breathe between the aggressive thump of his heart and the tightness of his throat from fighting off a crying fit for so long. Finally, he can’t hold back, and he starts sobbing like the dramatic he is halfway through the kiss, Ben makes a low noise in this throat, pulling back and placing a hand to Gwil’s cheek, thumb wiping at a thick drop sliding down his face. “Aw, you’re getting sad in my happy kiss” Ben hums, though he’s still crying too, and soon they’re both just hugging each other again, arms crushing against ribs and hands gripping at backs.

“I love you, and Frankie loves you, and the boys and Lucy love you, and your family loves you, and so many people love you Ben, and they don’t care about who you kiss goodnight at the end of the day” Gwil whispers against his neck, and when Ben huffs a choked sound that can only be described as being hysterical, the brunet knows he’s gotten through.

They stand there, crying their eyes out for all the good and bad reasons, and Gwil knows they’ll get through it. If not, a certain director may end up mysteriously going missing.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to drop a comment or request down below, or hmu on my [tumblr](https://hardleeharlee.tumblr.com/)


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